(I'm Glad) Jeremiah 29:11 is not for Me

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

Practically all of us are familiar with this promise. It’s cross-stitched on pillows, it’s used to decorate peoples’ homes, it’s the go-to verse for graduation cards – and understandably so; it’s quite a nice-sounding promise.

There have been some dream-killers, though, who argue that this verse doesn’t actually apply to us modern-day Christians. These meanies think that we should stop claiming that verse for ourselves.

Oh, I forgot to mention: I’m one of them. And you should be too.

Now, before you close the page, understand that I’m very, very glad Jeremiah 29:11 does not apply to me. And if you’ll bear with me for a couple minutes, I hope you’ll see why.

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Single Men: Love Your Wives (Video Post)

It's Valentine's week. It's a time when many couples take that extra effort to express their love for one another. In recent years, it has also (perhaps jokingly) become a time for "Singles' Awareness." I believe, though, that we as singles need more than just "awareness." We need a lifestyle of commitment.

In Not Just a Teen's first ever video-post, we'll discuss how we men can love our wives even while we're single:

What other ways can we single men "love our wives"? How can single women "love their husbands"? Share your thoughts in the comment section!

God is not a GPS

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Some believe that God is like a GPS. He has a direction He wants you to travel (His “plan”), and He leads you in that direction each step of the way. Maybe you’ll take miss a turn or get off on the wrong exit here or there, but like a GPS, God’s always there to “reroute” you back on the right road.

This analogy, however, is severely lacking, if not in direct opposition with reality. If God were like a GPS, that would imply that we men and women are in the driver’s seat. We would be in control, deciding when and where we want to go. God would merely be an advisor, knowing the right route but having no control over what path we actually take. This view undermines God’s sovereignty.

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God is Good (and That's Terrifying)

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"The most terrifying truth in scripture is that God is good." - Paul Washer¹

In our world of Christian slogans and catch phrases, “God is good” has become a mere cliché. It’s become so much of a cliché that sometimes it’s used more often as a call-to-order in a church service than anywhere else.

God is indeed good. Beyond good, really! He’s so good that He’s the very definition of good! He’s so good that He can’t be anything less than good! He’s so good that nothing outside of Himself can be good! He’s perfect! There really is no set of words that would fully explain just how good God is.

But why would that be terrifying?

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The Myth of Modesty

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The topic of modesty has caused unimaginable division, especially within the Church. The reason is clear: we’ve focused so much on how women dress that we’ve lost touch with the heart of God. Sure, sometimes we’ll throw in the male side of the discussion, but our attention still isn’t in the right place.

The problem is that the outward appearance is such a tiny portion of modesty that it’s no wonder why we’ve gotten things so wrong!

I have yet to read a description of modesty that explains it as it really is (not that one doesn’t exist; I simply haven’t found it). So what I’d like to do is try to paint for you the whole picture of modesty and destroy the myths that have caused such ungodly division.

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God Doesn't Make Sense (And I'm Okay with That)

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We live in a world that wants so desperately to know God. That is, we live in a world that wants to be able to understand God. To know His thoughts. To predict His movements.

We want God to make sense.

But there’s a problem. We’re humans. We live in our own corner of the universe with our own worldviews, ideas, and values. We, with our peephole-sized view of the world, determine our own idea of how things should be.

So, in the face of a Divine Master that doesn’t match our concept of “God,” we humans reject Him. Even though His reality is substantially clear, we deny Him and choose to follow our own desires (Romans 1:20-21).

This is a bad enough problem in a lost society, but this kind of thinking is invasive; it’s found its way even back into the lives of redeemed Christians.

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The Relationship Series: Now What?

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We’ve arrived at the sixth and final post of The Relationship Series. Over the course of this series, we’ve talked about a number of not-so-popular relationship topics. We’ve discovered the purpose of marriage and our roles as husbands and wives in it, we’ve discussed courtship with its purpose and application, and we’ve uncovered the real meaning of purity.

As I mentioned in the previous part in this series, though, many of us have years to go before we’ll marry or even begin some sort of relationship. So in reading these posts, you may find yourself asking this question:

“Now what?”

“What can I do now to prepare for marriage?” ­­We began to answer this question in Part 5 by talking about purity. We found out that purity is much more than simply “not crossing the line,” but is really a pursuit of Christ. This, of course, is the most important aspect of preparing for marriage. How can we expect to please God in our relationships if we aren’t pleasing Him in our individual lives? Therefore, chasing after Christ and His holiness is the most essential part of becoming ready for marriage.

In addition to following the Lord in purity, there are a number of specific things we can do to prepare ourselves for being godly husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers.

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The Relationship Series: The Heart of the Matter

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Throughout this six-part series on relationships, we’ve discussed marriage and courtship, each with their own purposes and meanings. In short, we’ve covered the “relationship” part of The Relationship Series. But chances are that most of us aren’t married or even ready to court.  Does that mean we're off the hook? Hardly.

So what do we do before we’re ready for a relationship? The answer is simple: get ready.

Too many of us arrive at adulthood and suddenly come to the realization, “Oh no! I’m not prepared for marriage!” Worse yet, we use our unpreparedness as an excuse to pursue petty, commitment-less relationships. We seem to have this idea that one day we’ll wake up suddenly ready for marriage, but that’s simply not going to happen. We need to get ready.

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The Relationship Series: The "How" of Courtship

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Through The Relationship Series, we’ve discovered some of the less-often discussed parts of relationships. We’ve talked about purposes of marriage that are not so commonly learned (Part 1), roles of husbands and wives that far too few people understand (Part 2), and a form of dating that is entirely counter-norm (Part 3).

This post is no different. In the last post, we began to talk about the “Why?” of courtship. Now, let’s look at the “How.”

Honestly, there’s no black and white handbook for courtship. There’s no formula or set of rules. Even so, there are several key aspects of courtship that make it distinctly different from dating. Let’s explore each one and discover why they’re important.

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The Relationship Series: Let's Talk about Dating

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This is now the third post in The Relationship Series. In the first post, we discussed the primary purposes of marriage: Procreation and Representation. We discovered why they’re important and what they mean in marriage. Then, last week, we found out what it looks like for a husband and wife to fulfill these purposes. We looked at the roles of a husband as a Priest, Prophet, Provider, and Protector, and the importance and beauty of the submission and “management” (so to speak) of a wife.

To be honest, though, we’ve barely begun to explain marriage. It’s the incredible unifying of two individuals. It’s one of the greatest manifestations of love on earth. It’s the intimate knitting of two hearts. It’s to be treasured above nearly all else. It’s practically indescribable.

Because of this, it seems to make sense that finding the right man or woman to marry is vital. Indeed, it is! Quite understandably, it’s become one of the most popular topics among the Church’s youth. There are countless video series, books, and programs, all centered on the issue of dating.

So how do you date in a Christ-honoring way that will produce a godly marriage? The simple answer: you don’t.

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The Relationship Series: Husbands and Wives

In the last post, we discussed marriage. We delved into its two-fold purpose: procreation and representation. Procreation, as we discovered, is much more than simply “having kids,” but is a far greater calling than it is often credited. Marriage also serves to represent God, firstly in His relationship to the Church, but also in the relationship of his triune nature.

Is this really all there is to marriage, though?

If both individuals in the relationship are working toward the same two purposes, of what importance is it for a wife to be a wife and a husband to be a husband? In other words, is a wife’s role different from that of a husband’s? And if so, why?

If you read last week’s post, I hope the answer is already coming to your mind. The roles of husbands and wives are different, because they are specifically designed to fulfil the purposes of marriage. If we do not fulfil our roles as husbands and wives, we will never fulfil the purposes of marriage.

The begging question, then, is “What are the roles of husbands and wives?”

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The Relationship Series: What's the Point of Marriage?

Hey everybody!  As many of you have noticed, there haven't been any posts on Not Just a Teen for over a month.  This is due to the crazy business of my life for the past few months, but (prayerfully) things are slowing down a bit!  To the best of my ability, I hope to be back to the regular, weekly posts.  Thank you all so much for your support, and God bless! :D

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With so many varying definitions and implications of “marriage” in the world today, everyone seems to have their own idea of what the purpose of marriage truly is. Some might say it’s to enhance both individual’s gifts and abilities in improving the world. Some might say it’s to provide a necessary social structure for the family and community. Some might say it’s to bring you enjoyment. Some might even say that marriage has no purpose at all.

But from a worldview centered on God’s Truth, what is the real purpose of marriage?

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How to Deal with Offenses: Part 2

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In Part 1 of this post, we discussed the very first part of Matthew 18:15: “If your brother sins against you.” As we found, there is a vital point to understand in dealing with offenses, and it is that we have to do something. We must either take it directly to the person with whom we have an offense, or we must let it go. To do anything else is to gossip or hold bitterness; either is sin.

Now let’s look at Matthew 18:15-17 for ourselves and see Jesus’s “four-step” process in dealing with those who sin against you:

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How to Deal with Offenses: Part 1

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Let’s face it. People are difficult. Personalities clash, cultures battle, and ideals often oppose each other. Dealing with other people, especially within the Church, can be complicated.

Because of this, one of the most difficult – yet common – troubles we have as Christians is resolving offenses. It’s so easy for us to feel as if we’ve been wronged, and so we often look to the person with whom we have an issue, hoping that they will somehow change. We try to avoid conflict, so we do nothing.

But what should we really do?

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The Gospel, The Gospel

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“The Gospel, the Gospel,
Fragrance in words.
The sea of my soul is calmed when it’s heard.”
(The Gospel, Jimmy Needham)

It’s the focal point of scripture. The entire Old Testament points forward to it, and the entire New Testament points back to it. If the Bible were a novel, the Gospel would be the climax. If it were a musical score, the Gospel would be the resounding fortissimo after an intensifying crescendo.

The Gospel is nothing short of awesome.

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How am I Ever Going to Change?

I’ll be honest. I want to change. As a matter of fact, the more I am changed to be more like Jesus Christ, the more I recognize how desperately in need of change I still am.

Truth be told, that’s always going to be a reality. While I’ve been given the power to walk in holiness, I will never reach the state of Christ’s absolute, innate perfection. I will always need to change.

Sometimes, though, change seems impossible. No matter how much I try, I am in many ways still the same. I’ve come to realize, though, that unless I understand a number of things about change, that will always be the case.

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The Lies and Truths of Hard Times | Guest Post By Laura Owens

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Everyone has times when life is hard.  Times when life blindsides you, and it’s all you can do to put a smile on your face and act normal around people.  Times when you really do want to trust God, but in the back of your mind there are the questions “Does He really know what He’s doing?” and “Why is this happening to me?”

Hard times like these are pivotal to our lives and our faith.  It’s a fork in the road – will you cling to your belief in God, or will you turn your back on Him? 

Many lies have cropped up concerning tough times, and at one point I fell for them.  It took me a long time to recognize these lies for what they were.

Lie #1: God has forgotten you.  

God has promised never to leave you, and He will never break that promise.  In 2 Timothy 2:13, Paul writes, “if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”  He can not deny His Spirit within those who have called on His name for salvation!  If He can’t deny us, how then can He forget us? 

Lie #2: You can’t ask for help.  For one thing, that would be weak.  For another, God gave you this time; handing it off to somebody else like that is a cop-out.  

This lie gains its power from the fact that most of us don’t really want to tell people that we’ve got problems.  Our self-sufficient mindset rebels against the very thought of showing weakness like this.  

Really, pride is most of what keeps this lie alive.  God never said, “You must get through life on your own.”  When God made man, He said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”  That holds true today – it is not good for a person to be alone, to have no one to talk to, pray with, even vent toward.  A friend can pray for you and give you wise counsel and support.  A Godly friend (or sibling, or parent, or cousin…) can help you get through.

Lie #3: God is getting back at you for something.  

God does not get back at His children!  It doesn’t matter what you did last month, God does not retaliate when you sin against Him.  Matthew 5:45 says “For He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” 

Rain falls on the righteous, too – and if you’re a Christian, He sees you as righteous.  He sends hard times for our good, not because we deserve them.  If you’re going through something right now, you are not being punished – it’s quite the opposite:  God, in His infinite wisdom, knows that you need to go through this time for your own good.

There are also great truths that can help you get through hard times with your faith intact.  These are some of the things I have learned along the way:

Truth #1: This time is growing your faith more than anything else could.  

Last June/July, God allowed circumstances into my life which really caused me to question my ideas about God and what I could trust Him with.  For a month and a half, I tried to understand what was happening and how I could still trust that the Lord still knew what He was doing.  

Now, nearly a year later, I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.  My faith in God is stronger than ever before, because of my time of testing.  God uses these times to strengthen us in ways we can’t see or understand.

Truth #2: It’s okay to cry.  

For a long time, I resolved never, ever to cry when I was going through a tough time – that was a manifestation of a lack of belief, right?  To cry was weak, childish, and foolish.  But then I remembered:  Jesus cried.  

Since then I’ve come to believe that if you truly want to honor God, even your tears will be honoring; in a way, you’re saying “I can’t handle this,” which gives Him opportunity to step in.

Truth #3: God will get you through this.  

God draws near to hurting people; I felt Him most strongly when I was at my lowest point.  When we’re so broken down there’s not much of us left, we give Him the opportunity to step in and build us up into something infinitely better than we were to start with.  You will hit hard times, but God will always see you through!

In the words of my “online friend” Ethan H:

“God is good. Always. Even when it's hard. Especially even when it's hard.”

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Laura Owens is a homeschooled sophomore from the East Coast. She is the third-youngest of eight children, and she loves every minute of it! When she's not doing schoolwork or working at her part-time job, she can be found speaking Spanish, reading, or writing.

The Second Day

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Here we sit between these two important days in Christianity.  Yesterday was a remembrance of Christ’s death, commonly known as Good Friday, and tomorrow is Easter, the remembrance of His resurrection.  These are times when, among other things, we look back at the events of the gospels and reflect on the first day and the third day.

But what about the second day?

Interestingly, scripture doesn’t tell us very much about the second day.  For most of the Jews at the time of Jesus’s crucifixion, the second day was just like any other Sabbath.  They rested from their everyday tasks and devoted their time and attention to the Lord and away from the cares of the week. 

For the disciples, though, this was far from an ordinary Sabbath. 

Unknowingly, the disciples were standing between the two most important events in all of human history: Christ’s death and resurrection.

But on this Sabbath day, the disciples had only witnessed the first of these events.  In light of the horrifying occurrences of the previous day, I’m sure that “rest” would have been the furthest thing from their minds.

Truth be told, we all can find ourselves living in the “second day.”

Maybe nothing earth-shaking will happen today.  Maybe it’s just an “ordinary” day.  Maybe, as with the disciples, the only thing that characterizes today is the feeling of despair from what might have happened yesterday.  Maybe it’s the “second day.”

We may have many “second days” in our lives, but we have no reason to despair.  Had the disciples remembered the words that Jesus had spoken to them, the second day would have been filled with anticipation, not grief, because they would have understood that the Lord had a greater, miraculous plan! 

Likewise, God has promised us that He will work all things out for good, if we love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). 

So, like the disciples, we too can look forward to the “third day” – the day when the Lord will bring good out of all of our present circumstances!

Whether you are facing your “first,” “second,” or “third” day, remember that we serve a risen Savior, one of Whom David said,

“Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
on those who hope in his steadfast love,
that he may deliver their soul from death
and keep them alive in famine.” (Psalm 33:18-19)

Tested by Fire

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“The crucible is for silver, and the furnace for gold,
                and a man is tested by his praise.”  (Proverbs 27:21)

When we think of a Christian being “gold” tested by fire, or perhaps silver being cleansed of dross, we usually think of trials.  We think of Christians enduring hardships and pain, and so strengthening their faith.  This is all perfectly sound and biblical, but I believe there is little that tests a believer’s faith like praise.

History shows that when the Church is under persecution, it grows stronger.  It’s when things are going well, however, that the real testing begins.  You see, trusting God in persecution is relatively easy; we have virtually no choice but to fall back on the Lord.  (I use “easy” in the broadest of ways here.  Don’t get me wrong, persecution is tough!)  But when we’re praised, we have a choice as to who’s going to be glorified in the situation.

While trials test our faith in God’s power through endurance, praise tests our true loyalty and love for our Savior.

Praise gives us an opportunity to decide whether we will glorify God or ourselves.  The problem is that most of the time we choose the latter.  As human beings, the sin nature encourages us to seek praise.  Practically everything we do is influenced by what we think others will think of us.  Earlier in chapter 27 of Proverbs, though, we’re given a piece of advice concerning praise:

“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
                a stranger, and not your own lips.” (Proverbs 27:2)

This exhortation shows us where our focus should be – or perhaps more accurately, where our focus shouldn’t be: ourselves. 

Praise shouldn’t be something we seek for ourselves, because the more we are glorified, the less Christ is glorified.

I think this is generally obvious, but I’ve found that we often fail to realize some of the underlying ways in which we seek praise.  For instance, I can sometimes be tempted to try to impress others by explaining how “busy” I am.  It’s easy to want to ensure that others know just how rough I have it.  But what am I really seeking?  The truth is, I’m just looking for recognition – praise.

Recently, the Lord has been showing me that if I do something noteworthy, whether it’s a sacrifice I make or a kind gesture, I need to keep it to myself.  In fact, He’s been showing me that many times I need to do everything in my power to prevent anyone from ever finding out something that might bring me glorification!

This is truly what makes praise the “testing fire.”  Am I going to seek that I be lifted up, or am I going to seek that Christ be lifted up?  I need to be so Christ-focused, and subsequently so others-focused, that I’m the last person to come to mind.

The purpose of my life is to bring praise to Christ.  Yes, I will receive praise sometimes.  But if my focus is in the right place, the praise that is given to me will simply be reflected onto Christ and those around me, and people will begin to see that I am not worthy of any praise; my life will reflect the fact that the praise belongs to the One Who has given me everything.

There are so many aspects of praise – both practical in principle, so I invite you to continue the discussion with us in the comment section!

Light Pollution

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It’s one o’clock in the morning, but I’m driving – driving for hours and hours.  I pass the grocery store, then the gas station, until I’m finally miles from any hint of civilization.  Some would call it “the middle of nowhere,” but I’ve arrived at my destination.  I step out of the truck, look up at the night sky, and immediately my eyes are met with billions upon billions of bright lights, shining like the very angels of Heaven.

Then I wake up.

I climb out of bed and stare out of my bedroom window.  But, to my disappointment, there is not a star to be seen; only dozens of street lamps, gleaming with a hazy dullness in the foggy night. 

This is light pollution.

Okay, okay, so that never actually happened.  It was just a clever illustration to segue to the point of this post.  Even so, we’ve all experienced light pollution to some extent.  In some places, because of all of the artificial light, it’s nearly impossible to see the natural lights that the Maker of the universe has placed in the sky.

In the same way, we can often become light pollutants, preventing those around us from gazing upon the glorious Light of the Bright Morning Star. 

(Revelation 22:16, 21:23)

You see, we are to be lights shining in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation (Philippians 2:14-15), but sometimes we’re shining the wrong light.  There’s only one light that is acceptable: the light of Christ.  This light is impossible to produce of our own doing, but is the natural effect of Christ living in our hearts.  Every other form of light is unacceptable, and only prevents the True Light from having precedence.

If those around us are not seeing the light of Christ shining in our lives, it is likely that the “light” we’re displaying is only bringing attention to ourselves.  This real purpose of being a light, however, is that others would look and immediately see not us, but Christ alone (cf. Matthew 5:16). 

In this sense, we are to be like a mirror, simply reflecting the Person of Christ without attempting to be seen ourselves, similarly to the way the moon reflects the light of the sun.  

Let us all be so focused in our love for Jesus Christ and for other people that we reflect – and become – His one true light, not polluting the earth with the dullness of our own self-centeredness but instead pointing solely to Who He is!