More like Oscar the Grouch

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." - Ephesians 4:29, ESV

     I think it would be safe to say that the world, in all of its business and hustle, has become less of a friendly place.  The world's no Sesame Street.  Step out into the street singing a musical number and no one's going to join right in with harmony or even choreography. (Not that I have experience, mind you...)  However, we all need encouragement one way or another.  We aren't supposed to be stuck in such a degrading culture.  1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."   As Christians, we're supposed to encourage one another in our walk with Jesus, not tear each other down.  That's what this week's post is about:

"A real woman encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down."

"A real man doesn't put others down with his actions, attitude, words, or his strength.  But on the contrary, he affirms and builds others up."

     As you can see, the men's and women's points for this topic aren't too different.  There are certain things that vary between the two genders in this area, but Christians in general are always supposed to be an encouragement - not a discouragement - to others.  Even so, we'll still look at each separately.  For women, it can sometimes be easy to form tight groups that allow certain people in and keep certain people out.  These "cliques", as they're called, can often times exclude people whom Christ desires to be encouraged.  This can be a problem for many teens.  We like to spend time with our friends - that's great!  But sometimes Christ calls us to reach out to someone.  Someone who might be lonely and in need of a friend.  That's where - especially in the case of women - it's important to step out of your comfort zone and befriend someone in need.  Cliques can be one of the largest cripplers of a church body because they cause division.  People stay in a group that accepts them and over time each group pushes away, breaking up the Body of Christ.  This is where it is your job to be the encourager.  Don't let anything slip out of your mouth that puts someone down; only what builds them up as Ephesians 4:29 says.  Someone could be depending on you to bridge the gaps in the Body of Christ.

     We as men have a similar problem.  Instead of cliques, however, many times what can put others down is our own self.  As the text above states, we can put others down with our "actions, attitude, words, or [our] strength".  There are many people out there gifted by God with different capabilities or strengths, yet become prideful and want to put others down because of them.  Gifts (from God) are never given to us for our own gratification.  They are given so that we may honor God and share Him with others, which I and I'm sure many others struggle with.  The irony in this is that we - especially men - have a hard time surrendering our pride and using our gifts for God and not for us, which is exactly what we're called to do.  Encouragement isn't as easy as it may sound.  As you can quite easily see, each of us has something deep inside of us, ingrained by our culture, that doesn't want us to encourage.  But as Christians, especially us teens, it is essential for us to do hard things and do what our flesh doesn't want us to.  (Yep. That was a shameless plug for the Rebelution...)

     Encouragement is of unwavering importance to the Christian faith.  Without it churches fall apart and relationships are broken.  As Proverbs 15:4 states, "A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."

Apples to Oranges

     With our changing culture, it seems that the roles of women and men are getting blended together like a fruit smoothie.  Years ago men would show women respect in any way possible; it was normal.  Nowadays we've seemed to have stopped giving that respect.  Have we simply grown out of those things?  Is honor to women still necessary in this fruit-smoothie culture?  That's what this week's topic is about:

"A real man is a gentleman. He is polite and shows women honor in everyday things such as opening doors, etc."

"A real woman is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference."

     Well that sure answers the previous question.  What a clincher.  It shows us right in the Bible that men have a role to honor women.  1 Peter 3:7 portrays exactly what we as men should be doing: "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."  

     Men and women have separate roles given to us in scripture.  Women, according to the Bible, are to be submissive to their husbands.  Men, in return, show their wives the honor and respect that they deserve.  This respect, even outside of marriage, can be shown in simple things such as opening doors, helping to carry something, and others; the kind of stuff we as men were made to do!  Despite whether or not our culture says it's appropriate, we should give women the respect that they are given through the Bible.  This honor, however, is not simply action alone.  This is an attitude of service.  It's where Luke 6:31 comes in, except centered around the weaker vessel (as 1 Peter 3:7 puts it).  

     You too, women, have a role to play in this topic.  Nothing tramps the respect shown to a woman like her taking it the wrong way.  The honor meant for the woman in the Bible was put in place for your good.  You shouldn't be offended by the honor shown to you (unless, of course, it's done in a flirtatious manner).  The second part of this point is also important: "[A real woman] cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference."  Cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit is what makes a woman deserving of gentlemanly courtesies (see 1 Peter 3:3-4).  Proverbs 11:16 says, "A gracious woman gets honor".  It's as simple as that.  

     As you can see, the Bible sets up the general relationship that men and women should have.  Following these roles, however, is what our culture seems to struggle with.  The order God placed over mankind is superior to any that we can imagine, which is why we should step up to the responsibilities of which we were given.  Otherwise we'll just end up with a really nasty fruit smoothie.

The Treadmill Doesn't Seem to be Working, Dear

     "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10, ESV

     Some might think that fulfilling God's will for your life really starts to happen once you become an adult and have a family, but we can many times forget that even while we're young we still have a responsibility to do God's will; to spread His message to the world.  Sometimes God uses our young years and our singleness to allow us to be better fit to serve Him.  Sometimes God calls people to not marry and simply serve Him all their years without a family.  The apostle Paul is an example of this.  However, most of us will eventually become "un-single" and will begin a new path of life.  Utilizing our years of singleness, then, is a very important tool to help us grow closer to God and to prepare us for our future.  Thus today's points deal mostly (but not entirely) on our younger years:

"A Real Woman uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future up to Him."

"A Real Man doesn't try to prove himself but is simply confident as he walks in the fear of the Lord." 

     As with the apostle Paul, God can use our years of singleness to share His gospel in ways that others could not.  1 Corinthians 2:9 says, "But, as it is written, 'What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.'"  Worrying about the future is not what God has planned for a young woman's life.  Being content in knowing that He has control over what will happen and has a magnificent plan for you is all that matters.  Until then, however, seeking and serving God and fulfilling His will today is enough.  

     The book of Psalms displays beautifully the love David had for God: "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." (Psalm 73:25)  This same love is what seeking and serving God is all about.  

     For us guys, this point carries on throughout our entire lives.  Trying to "prove" ourselves to others is something many of us do, and yet it doesn't get anywhere.  It's like running on a treadmill, trying to get somewhere but not moving an inch (and this kind of treadmill has no health benefits).  Matthew 10:28 confronts this: "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell."  There's really no point in trying to prove ourselves to others.  Sure, improving our lifestyle is good, but not if our main intent is to look good compared to other people.  

     In 1 Samuel, God tells us "man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."  In addition to this, Jeremiah 17:10 shows just how God looks at the heart: "I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds."  Because man's opinions have no value, our main purpose is to glorify and honor our Lord and Savior.

     As you can see from scripture, Christ wants us to solely live for Him and dedicate ourselves especially in our years of singleness.  If we let Him, he can do amazing things in our lives.

The Beginning: A Very Good Place to Start

     As I mentioned in the last post, this week will begin to take a look at what a “real man” and a “real woman” look like.  I’ve spent the past few weeks matching different points on each together into groups of the same topic, and more recently have started to look at the first few deeply and finding extra verses of scripture to go along with them.  Here are the first two:

"A real man understands and lives according to the basic purposed for which he was created: to worship, honor, and serve God."

     And, for the ladies:

"A real woman seeks to make God her number one desire and the Lover of her soul, knowing that only He can fully satisfy."

     Because the pages didn’t originally give the points any particular order, I decided that these two should be first in line.  It makes sense to do this given that before we can become real men and real women for Christ, we must first make sure our relationship with Him is in the right place.

     The guys’ point says that we should live according to the basic purposes for which we were created.  This statement goes along with the age-old question, “What is the meaning of life?”  Fortunately for us, we know that the true meaning of life isn’t to be a success in man’s eyes, but to instead worship, honor, and serve our Lord and Maker.  Two verses of scripture that go well with this are Romans 12:1-2 and Deuteronomy 6:5: 

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." – Romans 12:1-2, ESV

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." – Deuteronomy 6:5, ESV

     The first step to becoming a man or a woman of God is to know that our true purpose in life is to praise and follow Him faithfully.  Worship, honor, and service could all be grouped together to be "living for God", but there are certain differences that separate them from one another.  Worship is something many of us don't fully understand.  Some believe it to be simply that few minutes in church that we sing a songs, but it is much more than that.  Worship doesn't just end once the last chord is played, nor does it start with the first note on the piano.  Worship is yielding ourselves to Christ and coming into His presence.  It's standing in awe at who He is and praising Him for all that He's done in our lives.  Honor is knowing that we aren't just Christians on Sundays.  We're Christians all throughout the week and live our lives displaying that.  We honor God in how we live our lives in accordance with His commandments each day.  Service comes as a display of thanks towards our God for all that He's done for us.  It should come from our hearts and not to show off to others.  All of these things put together allow us to follow God in all areas: with Him, with others, and finally with ourselves.
   
     Two verses that compliment the woman's point are found in the book of Psalms:

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4, ESV

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." - Psalm 73:25, ESV

     The most important thing for anyone is that Christ is number one in their lives.  Anything that is placed above God is an idol.  It doesn't matter what you chase after; nothing else could possibly satisfy other than Christ.  Keeping God number one in our lives is important because in His word he tells us "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  He alone will always be there to supply our needs.

     In our culture it can be easy for women to try to meet the world's standards of success or beauty.  This is why it's especially important for women to place God in the number one spot of their lives.  With so many desires pulling at the mind, keeping Christ as the greatest desire puts everything else in a better perspective.  He doesn't want women (or men, for that matter) to desire to meet the world's standards more than they want to meet His.  Christ died for our sins.  All the world does is seek to pull us away from Him.

     This week, try to keep these points in mind.  Understand the place God has in your life, and live your life accordingly.  Starting with this allows us to know where our strength comes from so we can better live out our lives according to His will.

"Male and female, he created them" - Genesis 1:27b

                It’s been over two weeks since my last blog post.  A lot has happened since the end of October.  First of all, I broke my finger.  After letting it heal in the wrong position for almost two weeks, I had to get surgery.  Now I have a cast over my right hand and am forced to type left-handed.  As you can imagine, this makes it very slow.  Another thing that happened is that I was blessed to be able to give a five-minute “children’s message” at my church last Sunday.  It was a great experience and I was able to speak about the importance of willingly binding ourselves to Jesus Christ, using a pair of handcuffs to illustrate my message.  Finally, on the 24^th of October, I turned 16.  No, I haven’t gotten my driver's permit yet.  I still have some studying to do.  There are many things I look forward to now that I’m sixteen.  Getting my permit and a job are definitely among those things.  More recently I’ve been thinking about what’s most important in my life.  Scouts has been a huge portion of my life in these past few years, but as I’ve grown in Christ more, it’s become less important to me.  I still think scouts is a great thing, but I praise God that he’s been growing in me the desire to serve Him more instead of getting caught up in things that don't have eternal value. 

                I’m very thankful that one of my favorite blogs, The Rebelution, has begun to write new things.  One of the pages I found while searching the site caught my attention.  It was called, "Teen Girls Define 'A Real Man'".  It lists several different points that make up what a man of God looks like, along with scripture to back them up.  Reading over the points was very humbling, and showed me many different ways in which I can grow as a man.  In my next few posts, I hope to go over these points.  However, there are also points of what a “real woman” looks like, so I will try to compare the points of both in their own separate ways.  Guys and girls are completely different; created by God to do different things.  That’s why you can’t have a definition of a “real person”.  God made us to be men (and women) after His heart, which is why I appreciate that the lists were made separately under the careful thought and prayer of Christ-minded teens.  In my next post I will get into the first points of the lists.  The links to the two lists are: Teen Girls Define "A Real Man” and Teens Define "A Real Woman"

                

                Well, I think that’s enough left-handed typing for one day.  His blessings,

                Nathan.