Tuesday, September 08, 2015

The Relationship Series: Now What?

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We’ve arrived at the sixth and final post of The Relationship Series. Over the course of this series, we’ve talked about a number of not-so-popular relationship topics. We’ve discovered the purpose of marriage and our roles as husbands and wives in it, we’ve discussed courtship with its purpose and application, and we’ve uncovered the real meaning of purity.

As I mentioned in the previous part in this series, though, many of us have years to go before we’ll marry or even begin some sort of relationship. So in reading these posts, you may find yourself asking this question:

“Now what?”

“What can I do now to prepare for marriage?” ­­We began to answer this question in Part 5 by talking about purity. We found out that purity is much more than simply “not crossing the line,” but is really a pursuit of Christ. This, of course, is the most important aspect of preparing for marriage. How can we expect to please God in our relationships if we aren’t pleasing Him in our individual lives? Therefore, chasing after Christ and His holiness is the most essential part of becoming ready for marriage.

In addition to following the Lord in purity, there are a number of specific things we can do to prepare ourselves for being godly husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers.

1) Practice by honoring those in your family

As we discussed in Part 2, husbands and wives have specific roles in marriage. The husband is not only called to lead but is also called to love and cherish his wife (Ephesians 5:25-28). The wife is not only called to manage a home but is also called to submit to and respect her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24).

One of the best ways to learn how to fulfil these roles is by practicing them with those in your own family. As a guy, I can prepare to love and cherish my wife by loving and cherishing my mother and sister, showing them the courtesy and honor that I want to show my future wife. As a girl, my sister can prepare to submit to and respect her husband by submitting to and respecting my father and me where applicable.

The family is uniquely designed not only to train children but to give them the opportunity to put certain things into practice. Some people, though, may not have earthly fathers, mothers, brothers, or sisters, but that doesn’t mean they can’t practice these things in other venues.

2) Learn from godly couples

In addition to the individuals in our families, many of us have couples we look up to. It may be a young husband and wife that have only recently married, or it may be a couple who have been together for years. Either can offer useful insight to us as we prepare for marriage, even if we are years from it ourselves.

There are many things we can learn from these couples. No people are the same (and therefore no marriage is the same), so in learning from the husbands and wives around us, we can see various examples of godly marriages being lived out right in front of our eyes.

3) Make a list of what you want in a husband or a wife

There are certain things that every spouse should be, like a faithful Christian who seeks to serve Christ in every area of their life. And, as we’ve discussed before, there are certain things that all husbands should strive to be and that all wives should strive to be.

Even so, each of us may have specific things we’d like to see in a spouse that reach beyond what a husband or wife should be. Most people want to marry a person who has strengths in areas they are weak. Some may want someone who shares their interests or who is good at certain things. And as long as we submit them to the Lord, these wishes are great!

So many young people have no idea what they want in a husband or a wife, so they often fall for any old Christian lad or lass they come across. When we understand what we want in a mate, however, we aid ourselves in looking for someone who will meet our needs and desires, and we’ll be able to recognize those who may not be the best match for us.


Through The Relationship Series, we’ve cast a vision for what it looks like to be a Christ-honoring husband and wife. We’ve cast a vision for how we can reach that point in a way that brings glory to the Lord. We’ve cast a vision for how we can prepare for marriage even in our time of singleness.

So now what? Get ready! Practice honoring those in your family. Learn from the godly couples around you. Determine what you need and wish for in a spouse. And most importantly, pursue Christ in your daily life, making it your aim to please Him in everything.

Marriage is an indescribably amazing gift from God. It joins two broken human beings together with a beauty that cannot be matched, and the Lord looks upon it with pleasure.

Seek to build a marriage that brings Him glory!