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Having grown up in the church, I’ve seen many young people
seemingly drift from our Lord. At one
point, it seemed like they were close to Him, but now it seems as if they’ve
forgotten Him.
This is a saddening thing.
But even more saddening is the realization that this is not at all
uncommon. In fact, it’s become the norm
in the Church today. Left and right,
youth are packing up and leaving the church in hordes.
As I see this happening, I’m forced to ask the question,
“How do I deal with friends who are distant from God?” It’s a touchy situation. However, unless I’m going to allow them to
walk away from the faith entirely, there are a number of things I must
understand.
I’m not all that close to God either.
When I look to the wondrous perfection of the Lord, seeing
His holiness, love, purity, and grace, I cannot help but come face-to-face with
my own imperfection, sinfulness, filthiness, and incapability. As I stare out across the chasm between God’s
flawlessness and my own pitiful unworthiness, “close” doesn’t seem to be a
fitting description.
In comparison with the distance between my character and my
Savior’s, the difference between my “closeness” and that of anyone else is
fractional at best.
Yet if I thought it were only a matter of who’s “closer”
than whom, I would be missing the point.
Our position on the journey of sanctification is not really as important
as our direction. My job is to point
people to my Savior; the rest is up to Him.
Are they truly a Christian?
If I am to ever try to bring people back to a right
relationship with God, I must determine where they stand with Him. My response to a brother or sister who is
drifting away from the path of righteousness is different from my response to
someone who is not a Christian at all.
Ultimately, the lifestyle of a non-Christian’s life is not
my highest priority. While it’s easy to
focus on others’ behavior, my job is to spread the gospel and let the Lord take
care of the rest. So if my friend is not
displaying evidence of a regenerated heart, there’s not much of a point in my
trying to “fix” their lifestyle.
However, if I know that this friend is indeed a Christian, I
have another responsibility. As passages
such as James 5:19-20, Galatians 6:1-5, and Luke 17:3 explain, I am accountable
to my brothers and sisters as a member of the Body of Christ, and they are
accountable to me.
(I won’t expound in this post how to tell whether a person
is a Christian, but you’re welcome to discuss that in the comments!)
Is it my place to confront this person?
After realizing my own weakness and evaluating the
relationship a friend has with the Lord, it’s important that I know when to
confront a brother or sister and when to only pray for them. After all, I can’t confront everyone, even
though we all have areas of sin in our lives.
Fortunately, Matthew 18:15 gives a key condition to
confronting sin: “If your brother sins against you …” (emphasis added).
Thus, if another Christian wrongs me personally, it’s my responsibility to resolve it.
But what if a friend is committing a sin that doesn’t
involve me? Am I to leave it alone? Since there are many specific situations,
this is largely something I must determine myself. Each circumstance requires careful prayer and
consideration. (I will also leave this
for further discussion in the comment section, since it is such a broad issue.)
I can’t change anybody
Ultimately, no matter how much I try, no matter how sincere
my intentions, I will never be able to change anyone.
But really, why would I want to? From my experience, just about everything I
try to change of my own power fails.
Miserably.
I can’t change anybody.
But that is just the way I want it.
I can rejoice, knowing that the very One Who has the power to change my
hard heart can use me as His instrument to do His work in the hearts of those
around me! What an incredible thought.
So before I can hope to help any wayward friend, I need to
ensure that my attitude is right. I must
understand that I’m not as close to my Savior as I may think. I must ascertain where my friend is with the
Lord. I must know when it is right to
confront them. And finally, I must
realize that I cannot change anyone of my own effort.
With this understanding, if God is prompting me to confront
a brother or sister, how do I go about doing so? How do I talk to someone about my concerns
without turning them away? Be sure to
come back Wednesday, when we’ll discuss the “how” of dealing with far-from-God
friends!